Remake Rebuttal

Dear Cho-d,

First of all, no one can be perfect for the role of Lieutenant Kimball, Kindergarten cop. No one except Arnold Schwarzenneg circa 1990. I might accept Dwayne Johnson as Lieutenant Kimball under 2 conditions.

1. He does the movie in an Austrian accent.

2. The director recreates the fight scene between the Rock and Ernie Reyes Junior AKA Kino and Surf Ninja.

Colin Farrel as Quaid in Total Recall is a bust no matter how I look at it. Pure bullshit to have Bullseye be the younger generation’s Martian Right’s Activist. For the love of God. Think of the children.

Seeing a three boobed prostitute in Total Recall psychologically damaged me as well. Visually, two boobs would never satisfy me again… until I saw the three nippled fortune teller from Mallrats.

I will watch this movie because John Cho is my hero. John Cho or Harold from White Castle. I still have not sorted that out.

Since we are talking about new remakes… have you heard they are making an American version of the movie Oldboy?  Originally, sources said that Steven Spielberg would direct Oldboy and cast the Fresh Prince as the lead. Now the project is going to be directed by Spike Lee with Josh Brolin from W. as lead. I see some potential there. Personally I think Tim Burton should direct it and cast either Denzel in dreads or an enraged Johnny Depp. Maybe Mickey Rourke if he didn’t look like Jack Nicholson. Actually, Jack Nicholson would have been perfect for this role.

Paz y Mucho Amor,

CG

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