Cultural Implications of the Halloween Harlot

The history of slutty Halloween costumes has been well chronicled since its inception in the 1900’s. But why do we wear slutty costumes? What are the cultural implications? How did a holiday meant to celebrate pagan fertility rituals turn into one that celebrated meaningless hookups? Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. Just curious.

I guess it only makes sense that the oldest Halloween costume tradition stems from the worlds oldest profession. In the end, aren’t we all prostitutes whoring in some form or another? The HBO series Hung tells it best. Don’t front. We are all either metaphorical or literal hookers.


Men and women alike use Halloween as an excuse to be what they secretly desire year round and it’s allowed because it’s a costume. Halloween is the one time of the year when we can take off our 364-day a year costume we call life and be what we want to be.

You don’t agree?

Look at the Crucible for your empirical data. Witches, entities commonly attributed to Halloween, were most likely burned at the stake in the Quaker days because of their adulterous ways.


Just look at that fatass. Seductive


Trick or treat?

Sounds like something a hooker would say. We learn at an early age to prostitute ourselves for the first drug we were introduced to as children – some of that sweet sugar.

Look at me. Pay me. I will wear this ridiculously awesome costume. Just gimme that Twix bar.


Halloween is the time of the year to express our inner harlot. Happy Halloween everyone. May  your inner hooker run rampant :).

Paz y Mucho Amor,

Cho Guevara


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