- Wake up to the sound of semi trucks downshifting, roosters crowing, babies crying and the smell of sweet burning garbage
8:31 am Masturbate
8:31:30 am Send text to Honduran girlfriend
If you look closely at the mural on my wall, you can see that the flower is really a woman grabbing behind her knees and spreading her legs. A while back, I let a Pea Score friend draw on my wall and the next thing I know there is a giant vagina. Had to hastily disguise it as a flower because I had company coming over later that night.
8:45 am Pick at wart blister. I got a wart removed last week in Tegucigalpa. The Honduran dermatoligist used nitrogen to freeze it and it left a nasty blister. Here is a day to day progression of the blister till today.
It looks like there is a little tit on my hand
9:00 am Sweep. No matter how many times I sweep, nothing changes
12:00 pm Egg Salad, eat standing
Background info on the little monster: Calls me Jiiiiiiiii! Always with the exclamation mark. Sometimes she says “Hola Jiiii!” to me through the walls because as you can see, there is a space between the wall and tin roof of my room. Her bedroom is adjacent to mine and apparently she can hear me whenever I walk in.
She is the same girl who popped a squat on my yoga mat a few months ago and left a yellow puddle
12:20 pm Sweep
2:20 pm Talk to people on street
The 4 favorite conversation topics the locals like to have with me
1. How I got robbed
2. Do I know who robbed me?
3. If they were me, they would machete the puta who robbed me (always accompanied with the two fingers across the throat motion)
5. When we going to drink?
2:40 pm Internet cafe, blogging on 56k, always leave the internet cafe a little angry
5:00 pm Fellow Beast Core buddy stops through my site to break up his two day travel back to site
6:00 pm Offer buddy spam fried rice. Smuggled 8 cans of spam from the states during Christmas break. Notice that the mere mention of spam makes his jugular pulsate, pupils dilate and nervous sweat droplets precipitate on his forehead – all fear indictators blasting simultaneously. What is with white people (Hawaiins not included in this generalization) and their moral opposition to spam? I do not care what anyone says. It is delicious.
6:30 pm End up getting fried chicken and fried plantanes for dinner
7:00 pm Watch buddy chain smoke as he talks about how much he loves Bruno Mars and puts Grenade on repeat.
7:01 pm I suggest to my friend that he might be homosexual
7:30 pm Sweep. When all else fails, just sweep. The dust replenishes itself quicker than it can be swept. Sweeping is futile, but good for the restless soul.
8:00 pm Little monster returns. Tries to sleep on the mattress I laid out on the ground for my Beast Core buddy. Refuses to get up. I fear she will piss on my spare mattress. Roll the green exercise ball out my door to bait her out of my apartment.
8:01 pm Close and lock all doors and ignore little infant fist knocking and screams of HOLAAAA JIIIII at front door.
9:00 pm Fall asleep masturbating